100 posts and there are green leaves against blue sky outside my window

Well, it certainly feels like it’s been at least a year since I last posted, but it’s just been a month and a few weeks. Time is a funny thing.

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In this time, I turned 26, flew more than 10,000 miles, was invited for a scholarship interview and had that interview. Went from part-time to part-part time work (i.e. 8 hours versus 20). Celebrated Easter with my family. Celebrated my birthday, a friend’s birthday, and my cousin’s birthday. April babies= best babies; no bias there. Basically I lived and celebrated living.

In the meantime, I wanted to write a kind of special post. Seeing as this marks the centennial edition of my humble beginning in July 2014, I decided to reflect on blogging and what it means to me, and why I find it worthwhile to continue. Basically, I’m here to say “I’m back! And even if I take breaks, I will likely always come back.”

First of all, I thought long and hard about why I write. There are a lot of reasons, but in the end, I noticed blog writing is about celebrating ourselves and our productivity as writers. I see a level of egoism in this and a kind of consumerism, but on the other hand, I value the positive things blogging can bring, so I will focus on that.

I write to:

  1. motivate myself to get something done by asking for some implicit accountability
  2. share experiences I’ve had and things I’ve seen or thought, partially as checkpoint for others taking the same or similar journey, partly to record these things for myself. I do occasionally go back and read posts and am often surprised by the person I was then, and how I still understand this person like it was me, but see her as separate from me. I can always learn something from this person
  3. inform the few family and real life friends who do check up on me with this blog what I’m up to and that I’m still alive. I’m not as bad in staying in contact as I tend to make myself seem, though. Most of my family and friends don’t rely on my blog to know what I’m doing or how I am. That’s what coffee dates, Skyping, and lengthy personal emails are for, still these kinds of readers are at the back of my mind when I write
  4. find affirmation for the choices I’ve made and the person I present myself to be
  5. for therapy, I can work through certain fears and challenges by writing them out, but also benefit from the comments made at the same time… because otherwise, honestly I could just focus on my hard-copy journal
  6. gain practice in writing. 10000 hours, after all

Of these six reasons (too bad it’s six, but I didn’t want to fake a 7th for the sake of a nicer, for me, number), the one thing I learned over the past month(s) is that I don’t need to write for number 4 anymore. I mean, I still have my insecurities and brand of ego to share and fuel, but I don’t really think I have to anymore.

Of these six reasons, I plan to whittle the list down the reasons to 2, 5 and 6.

In other news, a three month construction project started in my apartment building, which has meant power-drilling at 7 AM and maybe is helping me wake up earlier even if I still have jet lag and need to work on getting to bed earlier as well. My mother broke her second bone in 5 months, got operated on, but is on her way to full recovery, I may finally have financial security to stay in Berlin for at least three years as of the Fall, I am moving forward with my dissertation, barely run more than 10 miles a week and have found my peace with that, and a lot of other things that will slowly become relevant as I post regularly (for me, it’s meant about 2 posts a month) again.

I still read a lot of WordPress even if I don’t post myself, but I don’t mind if you tell me one (or three) significant things that has happened since I last posted. How do you deal with in-house construction at what feels like o’dark thirty on a hangover? Do you do mental checks with yourselves to refigure out why you’re doing something?

Cheers,

Dorothea

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24 comments

  1. What happened while you were gone? I am working my revenge to climb the stats of the almighty 50in50 site and use your offline time to sneak past you while I lost most of fitness my focussing on work I didn’t get paid for in the end. Construction?!!!! I hate this … I can’t deal with it … especially when having to focus on thinking. Loud classical music via headphones is my only solution … or go to a Wi-Fi cafe. Glad you are back 😘 oh and the spotting game is picking up again with Paula being the animal spotting queen so far.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well, ich gönne dir 2. Platz dieses Mal!
      I’m sorry you had to work on something you didn’t get paid for. Is it at least a project you can put in your portfolio? It won’t make up the lost fitness, but you’ll get it back, surely!
      Wifi Cafés will be my rescue, but it’s hard. Currently I’m also listening to music loud in my headphones, but still feeling the big, big, big vibrations (song reference, had to do it!) oh well.
      And okay! I’ll see what I can spot.
      and thanks for the welcome back. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy birthday Dorothea! So good to see you! Being woke by construction, lawn mowers, pressure washers or chainsaws is one of my most hated things… lest we forget those bin men! I feel for you! Great news about your staying status… But hopefully if we make it to Miami in the next 3 years, maybe you could fly home! Or… you know… Berlin Marathon… hmmm, we have thought about it… 😉 I will always be a dreamer. Anyway, great to see you. You’ve been missed!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw. 🙂 well I’ve missed being on here! Even if, again, it wasn’t so long, but it was a bit of silence on my end.
      Thanks for the birthday wishes (April 5th, for the record) and urgh, yes, we can probably all relate to early morning sounds. And we can get over it once or twice a week, but everyday. Jeesh.
      If you make it to the Fort Lauderdale marathon (the better one, anyway) then we can definitely meet up! I likely will come home in Februaries. Miami is always in January. But of course, Berlin is number one. We just have to enter the lottery for 2018 and see what happens!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. 2 posts a month? What are we paying you for? If that’s all I’m gonna get outta this, I may have to demand my money back!

    BTW, it must be strange to live in the country which, after the French elections in a week or so, may be the only major non-proto-Fascist country in the West. Who woulda thought that after the 20th century, Germany would be the beacon of liberal democracy?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know, right? But maybe it’s because the Germans are the only ones who did learn from their mistakes. It will be kind of weird to be part of the liberal beacon. It’s a responsibility.
      As for two posts… Well, maybe they’re just very good ones? I may post more, I just didn’t want to set expectations too high.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh apologies for the belated birthday wishes Dorothea. Yes there are many reasons why we blog and write and yours sound pretty relevant. Good luck with your dissertation and hope your mum gets fit soon and your nightly disturbances stop! That must be really annoying, especially with a hangover! Cheers…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love that this is where my “catch up” post starts. Because it’s your “I’m back” post! I’m looking forward to seeing what adventures I have missed now that you’re back in Germany. I worked years ago for a German company and spent a few months working there- between Cologne and Düsseldorf. Or, not far from there. Running 10 miles a week is perfect. And so are April babies. 🤘😎🤘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh! How cool! I think you’ve told me before that you spent some time in Germany (especially referring to some love of the beer, if I’m not mistaken?) But so cool that you spent the time to catch up on my posts!

      Liked by 1 person

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